Birth Order

The effects of birth order on your personality is a well studied thesis, with first borns, middle children and last borns all displaying different attributes. It's interesting to think that your position in your clan predetermined who you were to be.

There are many common, reoccurring themes in regards to birth order across all demographics, races and generations. We'll run through these here.

What causes the difference?

I'm a first born and it is so striking how true a lot of these are when reflecting on the characters of my siblings. We're all close in ages (2 year gaps between us) so we all relate in many ways, but in specific areas we are all so different.

It all boils down to interactions with your parents and siblings and the sublte differences in environmental pressures that each role is exposed to. Each sibling faces different challenges as a result of their position in heirachy.

The child/individual therefore grows with the specific adaptations they developed for their unique role and it forms them into the person/personality that they are now.

Many studies though, have rebutted this line of thinking, arguing that there is no profound effect of birth order on an individuals perosonality and that there are many other factors that play a role in it.

I believe it is situational and that birth order can definitely play a role, but there are many of cases that it's effects can be shadowed.

First Borns

The eldest child, in most cases are the parent's first ever child and sometimes even the first grandchild! And for this very reason, they are glorified and get a heap of attention from the new parents (and grandparents).

As the parents have no prior experience, there is a lot of instictual efforts and trial & error. The first child is the trailblazer, the parents and the first born have many first experiences together, this may be why the first borns usually behave as mini-parents; the glue between the parents and the children. The eldest looks to set the bar for all other siblings to follow.

They also have a lot of high expectations placed on them as they grow up. As a result of this, they develop a strong sense of responsibility and strive for higher academic accomplishments. As they are ahead of their other siblings, they enjoy many priviliges of being the eldest - choosing the biggest pizza slice, sitting at the front of the car, going first and even making decisions.

They tend to be the leader of the pack and grow to display good leadership skills in life and in their careers.

Middle Children

Due to the trials faced with the first child, the parents are now more experienced. The parents often raise this child with less of a fine toothed comb especially as attention is divided between the children. Compared to other siblings these children tend to get the least attention or seemingly so.

Where as other children seem to experience favouritism, middle children likely do not feel as though they are the favourite child. With the eldest viewed as the special child and the youngest as the baby, middle children are left as the proverbial monkey in the middle. For this reason, they often become very sociable as they seek more friendships and relationships from outside the home in attempt to obtain some of this percieved lack of attention. Resultantly becoming popular among peers, making and maintaining friendships easily.

Again, due to their positioning, they do not have the same expectations from parents as the first born nor the liniency of the last chance and so they tend to be less competitive or ambitious, having a more relaxed outlook in life. They are flexible and cooperative members of the family and very good at keeping the peace.

Last Borns

The youngest, tend to be more free-spirited characters as a result of their parents' increasingly laid back approach to parenting with every additional member of the family.

They become accustomed to being babied and pampered making for attention seekers and self centred individuals. They can also be very manipulative as they've learnt to coerce their parents into fulfilling their many wants (not needs).

They grow to be less responsible as they have many who go before them to take charge, enjoying the comfort of riding on the effors of others.

Last borns have a strong sense of security and due to the liniency of their parents and less pressure are more creative, charming and likeable. This freedom allows them to be more adventurous than their older siblings, taking far more risks comparatively.

Older siblings often envy the youngest, calling out the parents for not holding them to the same standard as their siblings.

Only Child

When parents decide to have one children, they spawn the lone child. This child experiences a very unique dynamic. They haven't any siblings to compete or interact with. No share of attention or resources. They are the parents first born but only born, they are like the super-firstborn.

They have all the expectations of the firstborn but all the love and support the whole way along to achieve it. Consequently, they are high acheivers academically, they gravitate to being creative also.

These individuals are perfectionists and hate disorder, they are used to having everything their way due to not having siblings to cause chaos and learn to share and negotiate terms.

Lone children are surroudned by adults since birth and so they become mature for their age. Lone children make good leaders and are resourceful humans but they can be stubborn and stuck in their ways.

Other Factors

As shown by many studies, there are many variables at play here that could seriously divert the path of a child's/children's development. These factors include the gender of the siblings, age gaps - making some children display a mixture of the aforementioned attributes, absent parents, socioeconmic status and the total number of students.

Parents may also have very different ideologies for parenting with the numerous parenting styles.

+ remember, your parents were also first, middle, last or only children and this could affect how they in turn raised you.

P.S. There's always a favourite child ;)