Don't Cheat at Solitaire!

I am sure we've all played the game. Whether it be on the train to work or way back as a kid during a computer lesson in place of completing set work. Don't worry, I'll tie it in.

A Solitaire is considered to be any single-player card game utilising a traditional deck of cards. Thus, Solitaire is a category of card games rather than the one we are all familiar with. Examples of Solitaires include:

Bisley, Carpet, Castle, Demon, Double-Deck, Fan, Forty Thieves, Freecell, Klondike, Single-deck & Spider Solitaire.

- sorry I had to list them all, I'd only ever heard of two of them. Chances are you've learned something here already.... and that's just the intro😎.

Don't cheat at Solitaire.

It may be starting to click now if it hadn't already. Essentially, to cheat at solitaire would be to cheat oneself.

But why would you do this? Why are humans susceptible to deceiving themselves?

We'll traverse this psycological flaw in this post.

(In the Microsoft Windows version of Solitaire, the cheat-code Alt-Shift-2 yeilds an instant win).

Self Deception

In the aforementioned example of the solitaire game, it appears as though you have completed the game, but you know deep down that this is not the case. A great example of self deception.

Self deception is the act of holding an irrational or unvalidated belief despite logical opposing evidence.

Self deception can have beneficial effects in small doses. Take the saying "fake it till you make it" as an example. You can fill yourself with a sense of confidence aiding in taking a risk or becoming more assertive which of course are positives, but to take these to extremes would be jeopardy and overly forceful, respectively.

Deceiving yourself may lead to some form of comfort in the beginning yet it often  snowballs to becoming habitual, putting you and those around you in a toxic space. The last person you should cheat on is yourself!

Deceit/Cheating in any context is generally frowned upon. Some may argue that it is justified in some scenarios - results are reaped without the need for arduous burden. But it is important to understand the ability cheating has of diminishing your fortitude.

Unfortunately it affects all of us humans in some way. Nobody is exempt.

Ego Defence

Often when our egos are challenged we tend to become defensive in an attempt to protect our insecurities. This feeling of vulnerability can be unpleasant. Seeking comfort, we may unknowingly convince ourselves and reset to our original, skewed belief. For example when our intellegence is questioned, we will tend to follow certain defence mechanisms in order to cope with the situation or cover our shortcomings.

According to the theories of the Austrian psychoanalysts, Sigmund Freud and his daughter Anna Freud, defence mechanisms are distortions of reality to protect oneself from unaccepted thougths and feelings. These mechanisms can include, but are not exclusive to, repression: preventing theathening thoughts from becoming conscious; denial: refusing to experience threatening feelings; and displacement: taking out your frustration elsewhere. There are many more examples, if interested, follow this link for an interesting read on defense mechanisms.

Taking responsibility and confronting your self deception/insecurities is difficult, especially as we are most of the time unaware of them. Reflection and meditation may help combat this.

Justifying Habits

We all have habits, good and bad. The bad ones are our focus here. Bad habits can lead to our detriment. Some people may be unaware of them whilst others are oblivious of their short & long term effects. Better yet, some may turn a blind eye to them. In all cases we can see examples of self deception.

Such habits include smoking, over-eating, spending recklessly, belittling others.... there is a vast archive of these negative mannerisms. Smoking can be seen as an irrational behaviour because it's effects are apparent and even plastered on the box. But smokers tend to tell themselves that it is ok and that they don't mind; probably because it is tomorrow's issue (don't get me wrong, addiction has a hand to play in this).

Another example is in diet's. Those with goals of weight loss or aesthetic physiques are likely susceptible to this. Cheating on their meal plans, saying "If I work out, I can eat what I want" or not being completely honest with themselves about their snackings (again, addiction (to sugar) makes it difficult). The only outcome here is a longer road to achieving goals or possibly not ever reaching them at all, showing how these little fibs rob you of fufilment.

Justifying habits is essentially kicking the can down the road and at some point you may have to deal with it in someway, whether it be health complications or feelings of regret.

Projecting

It's always someone else's fault and not yours.

You're always right and never wrong.

These are beleifs that many of us have that are far from true and we all know it.... when someone else makes these claims we immediately know they are wrong. But then, why do we say these things?

Certain statements are almost instinctual, we speak them to reflect impending judgments from others. We may fear what others will think or may not want to disappoint family and loved ones. Projecting is an attempt to deal with this, or rather not deal with it.

An example of this could be jealosy/hatred of someone or something. Your conscience knows that this is wrong and so attempts to "resolve the issue" by saying/believing that they are jealous of/hate you. Another is the classic infedility example, where the adulter accuses their partner of cheating due to their guilty conscience (I'm sure there's a dad joke in there somewhere).

Cheating Yourself

When you cheat yourself, you are not only robbing "you" but also all future versions of yourself. You cheat your future - leading to substantial pain and regret. It is clear that overcoming this drawback is crucial and can aid in your personal development, as well as in other aspects of life.

Being self aware and taking moments to pause, observe and question certain reactions and behaviours is a start. This can help you detect your self deceptive tendencies, allow for measures to be planned and put in place to steer you clear of them. Finding someone you trust who you can speak to at times where you experience struggles and setting long term and short term goals are also key.

Deceit is for poker, not Solitaire